Actually

Friday Flava... rit

2010-11-05T12:11:00.000-07:00

I post over here so incredibly often that I thought I'd give my blog a break and do some breakdancing on my friend Tara's.

Click here to check it out.

What a Difference a Day Makes

2010-09-23T11:52:00.000-07:00

Baby, If You Think Life's Hard NOW...

2010-09-21T22:30:00.000-07:00

Which of these pictures is not an accurate portrayal of V's feelings about cereal?

My Version of Ecclesiastes

2010-09-07T10:36:00.000-07:00

Curious friends have asked me how having a baby has changed things for me, and each time I've wanted to spend half an hour in deep thought before answering. But since that would make an awkward conversation, instead I've quickly said something about how tired I am all the time, or how much fun it is to see someone develop from an infant into a person.

I think if I gave myself the half hour of reflection, this would be my answer: the single most persistent way that having a baby has altered my world is by reminding me that life as I know it could fall apart at any second.

I remember when I was in my mid-twenties and single, having a revelation of myself as a fragile, mortal individual. I imagined I was in a boat, surrounded by friends and family in their boats, but in my own vessel I was alone. My boat could spring a leak and go under at any time, and though my loss would affect others around me, ultimately they'd suffer no long-term damage. And I? Well, I'd be absorbed into the eternal bliss of heaven, and whatever that means, it'd be good and I wouldn't miss my little boat.

When I married E, I recognized some of the risk we were taking. Two people in one boat meant that when one person left life, the other would remain with permanent loss. We jokingly argued over who would get to die first, neither of us wanting to be the one Left Behind. The argument could only be resolved when we agreed to die simultaneously, in a car accident where both of us accidentally fell asleep on a road trip peacefully unaware we had careened off a bridge. My apologies to people who would have been saddened by this arrangement, and to Cal Trans for theoretically having to repair the bridge railing.

So now, we have this baby.

She's small and fragile and innocent and happy. She needs us. And she's kind of in her own boat. I mean, she's part of us, makes us a trifecta of love, and without her we would be incomplete. But she's not one with us the way we're one with each other. Somehow, her life is both essential to and separate from ours. This makes our boat arrangement infinitely more risky, and infinitely more delightful. The depth of joy we have in our small family is too profound to be sustained forever.

"The pain now is part of the happiness then." I hoped to cite C.S. Lewis as the source of this quote, but as far as I can tell it was the invention of Shadowlands, that movie about C.S. Lewis. Either way, with a little flip the quote becomes a perfect expression of how I view our family from this side of struggle. For months now I've reveled in the fact that "the pain then is part of the happiness now."

Every night when I pray for V before putting her to bed, these words just burst out as the most accurate way to express my full heart: "Thank you, God, for another day with my sweet baby." It's hard to imagine the possibility of a night when I can no longer say that to Him. But since I'm aware of the possibility, the reality of today is so sweet and so rich.

B.A.D.D.

2010-06-18T08:34:00.000-07:00

Violet's down for her morning nap. Now I can get so much done!

First I'll look at my calendar to see what's going on today.

It's Denise's birthday!! Where's my phone so I can birthday text her? But I have laundry detergent on my hands so I better wash that off first.

I see from my reflection in the bathroom mirror that one boob is bigger than the other, so oh yeah! Gotta pump some Violet food.

The pump pieces need to be washed. And while I'm at it I might as well wash all the dishes.

Ohh! I've been meaning to water that plant in the kitchen window for days. Can't forget the fern in the bathroom, too.

Dang it! Forgot to include Violet's towel in the wash. I'll just throw it in the laundry baske-- there's the clean laundry I brought in that needs to be folded.

Eric left receipts in his pockets again. Throw those away in the recycle bin... which is full! Need to take that out to the big bins.

Man! We forgot to bring in the bins from the street! Where's the key to the gate?

Where is it? Where???!!!

Oh, under that pile of mail waiting to be shredded. Might as well shred it now and throw out the shreds with the recycling. Which will take another bag, just like Violet's nursery trash which also needs to be taken out so I'll do that right now.

Better slip my flip flops off before I sneak in there, right next to these... slippers that I've been searching for everywhere! I'll put you where you go, slippers, because I keep forgetting that I left you here.

Here you go, next to my bedside stand. There's my phone!

Why did I need that again?

Oh, haha. I'm losing my mind. I want to tell my blog friends! Type-ity type type...

Violet's awake.

Candid Camera

2009-11-21T19:34:00.000-08:00

Simple Bliss and Christine Bee got together for another shoot. You can check out the shop to see the perfect product shots created. But you know what other things were made?

Outtakes! Whee!

Awkward pose #1: my idea.

Awkward pose #2: Crystal's idea, my inability to execute.

Don't recall what this was about.

Distracted by ducks!

Come to me, baby ducks. I won't eat you - I'm vegetarian!

Distracted by Wendo.

Beautiful Wendo; not available for sale on Etsy. Yet.

Ear Warmer Yum

2009-11-17T21:16:00.000-08:00

Look what just arrived in the mail from my mom! We totally designed this from scratch over the phone while I was driving to and from school.

So cute, right? And sooo cozy.

When I saw it in person I immediately begged her to make a million more so our shop can make lots of people happy.

Patchwork!

2009-11-15T21:51:00.000-08:00

Pretty Packaging

2009-11-09T08:38:00.000-08:00

Goodbye, little glove buddies!

Thanksgiving Countdown: 19 Days

2009-11-07T11:04:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for:

Joanna Newsom and what's become a theme song in my head for our Buster girl.

Plus, Christine Bee's first sale! We sold our Rebecca Ann gloves to a stranger in Pennsylvania! To slip a treat into her order, I painted up a paper doll thank you card featuring the gloves she bought from us.

It turned out so cute! It makes me excited for the day I open up my own shop with oodles of painted items like this.

Oh, for more hours in the day to pursue every dream.

Thanksgiving Countdown: 22 Days

2009-11-04T09:45:00.000-08:00

Today I'm thankful for:

Chocolate Cherry Bordeaux ice cream in a pretty bowl... for breakfast.

Also, the gift of marriage. Not the kind that only goes as far as a piece of paper mailed to you by the courthouse; the kind where two people knit the rest of their lives together to be an expression of how God loves everyone.

Christine Bee FEATURED!

2009-10-23T14:47:00.000-07:00

Three days since we opened up shop, and one of our items has just been featured on Etsy's front page!

See us, top right corner?

I'm seriously so excited!!

Now to wait for mom to get home from camping for the weekend so I can get a hold of her!

Up and Running!

2009-10-20T00:55:00.000-07:00

...And I'm flipping exhausted.

Christine Bee, proud and excited to make your acquaintance.

Thank you, thank you. *Curtsey*

Simple Bliss Photography + Christine Bee Luxury Knits = Perfect Collaboration

2009-10-14T14:21:00.000-07:00

When my San Diego model couldn't make it, I had to Plan B my photo shoot and switch from behind to in front of the camera. Couldn't have handed over the lens to a better photographer.

Opening shop (fingers crossed) this weekend!!

Oh, October

2009-10-12T17:09:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the quote, Carol Bishop Hipps. I don't know who you are but you sure know your October.

Christine Bee

2009-10-08T15:36:00.000-07:00

I'm helping my mom set up an Etsy shop with her original knits and she's sent me some of her goods to photograph. She's so stinking good. She takes these vintage knitting patterns for lace and uses them to inspire scarves, gloves, and who knows what's next. I want to eat them all.

These are some of my favorites.

Now I just need wait for my model to get into town for a photo shoot.

Christine Bee - coming soon! Wheeeeeeeeeee!

First Maternity Outfit

2009-09-29T16:44:00.000-07:00

Worn to Disneyland Sunday evening, hours after receiving these maternity clothes from my young, babyless friend who bought them for herself because they're so comfy. "Empty baby houses like elastic waistbands, too."

In case you were wondering, I'm attempting a smize.

The Happy Story about Stress

2009-09-20T19:54:00.000-07:00

Gretchen painted herself a sign that said:

You're probably stressed for no good reason.

She was tired of always freaking out even though things usually turned out okay. She hung the sign up in her living room as a reminder, but that was just the beginning.

Next, she made prints of the sign and translated them into posters, t-shirts, totes, rugs, and sweat bands. She marketed them to people who were just like her: moms who made their children wear bike helmets all the time; teachers who worried their lesson plans weren't very good; students who developed hernias over their homework assignments; artists who fretted over whether their art would sell. Pretty much everyone who was ever stressed out needed the reminder that things usually turn out okay. Soon, everyone in the world knew about Gretchen and her Stressed Out products.

Over the ensuing years, Gretchen herself became immune to the message she was mass producing. Every time someone ordered one of her products, she lost sleep over whether she'd get it shipped on time. When The Today Show invited her to be interviewed, she barfed for four days straight. When the President asked her over for dinner she began punching herself in the face as a nervous twitch.

But in spite of all her stress, things usually turned out okay for Gretchen. The shirts got mailed, the interview went fine, and the President cancelled dinner plans at the last minute because all the White House vegetables were contaminated. The stress actually didn't turn out okay, because Gretchen died of apoplexy.

This is a happy story because now you and I have learned from Gretchen's mistakes.

Harvest My Organs

2009-09-19T12:51:00.000-07:00

I heart these sea monkeys like they came from my womb. This thing better flipping sell at the church craft fair. I will buy it myself before I see it go to auction.

One of Those Days

2009-09-18T09:36:00.000-07:00

WTFtown

2009-09-16T12:48:00.001-07:00

City of F,

You seriously waited until school was back in session to commence tearing up pavement on all four sides of our block?!

You do realize how much traffic these roads see in autumn? And how many of these cars are driven by insanely aggressive, oblivious, applying-makeup-using-the-visor-mirror 20-somethings with no concept of their own mortality?

Are you trying to make me hate living in you? I like you for so many reasons, but your road construction choices are mighty questionable.

Sacrifices for Love

2009-09-12T20:23:00.000-07:00

Eric asked me to email him links from a blog I follow (okay, it's Project Rungay) and so I emailed him ten or so posts through Google Reader. Halfway through, Google began asking me to verify words and things to make sure I wasn't a robot spamming people. I complied, finished the job, and moved on with my life.

A few hours later, I attempt visiting Google Reader to see what new posts might await me there.

But instead of endless magical goodies, I get this message:

That's right. For my love, I now must suffer indefinitely. But I choose LOVE!

An Open Letter to Apple

2009-09-11T18:51:00.000-07:00

Dear Apple,

I could think of no better way to air my grievances with you than here on my blog upon which you would never have occasion to stumble.

Why must you always update iTunes?

I just want to watch Mad Men, but you tell me that I have to update in order to download. That's what you told me last month when I wanted to watch Mad Men.

Has your technology so evolved in four weeks that my current version of iTunes is incompatible with your videos?

Have you invented colored bubbles and incorporated them into your user interface?

Will Don Effing Draper appear on my monitor in 4-D and address me personally as a member of the Mad Men world and try to seduce me though I'll refuse him since I'm married though that never stops him or anyone else on that show but maybe that's because none of them are married to my husband?

You better MYSTIFY me with your upgrade, since you just took 15 minutes to install it.

I'll restart my bloody computer now.

Regards,
B

Blood

2009-09-06T21:47:00.000-07:00

The tears come easily these days, so the extent to which this song moves me may be no indicator of its greatness. But then there's this video.

'Blood' The Middle East

Lyrics:
Older brother, restless soul, lie down
Lie for a while with your ear against the earth
And you’ll hear your sister sleep talking
Say, “Your hair is long but not long enough to reach
Home to me
But your beard
Someday might be”

And she’ll wake up in a cold sweat on the floor
Next to a family portrait drawn when you were four
And beside a jar of two cent coins that are no good no more
She’ll lay it aside

Older father, weary soul, you’ll drive
Back to the home you made on the mountainside
With that ugly, terrible thing
Those papers for divorce
And a lonely ring
A lonely ring
Sit on your porch
And pluck your strings

And you’ll find somebody you can blame
And you’ll follow the creek that runs out into the sea
And you’ll find the peace of the Lord.

Grandfather, gentle soul, you’ll fly
Over your life once more before you die
Since our grandma passed away
You’ve waited for forever and a day
Just to die
And someday soon
You will die

It was the only woman you ever loved
That got burnt by the sun too often when she was young
And the cancer spread and it ran into her body and her blood
And there’s nothing you can do about it now

New Blog

2009-08-20T12:11:00.000-07:00

In order to keep this the blog I hardly ever post to, I'm starting a new blog to welcome Little Ahlberg to the world of, um... blogging. I'm lame, but I like me so I'm not going to apologize for it.

Hello Buster!

New Old New Our Not Our House

2009-07-24T12:44:00.000-07:00

Our realtor just emailed us a photo of the house as it appeared in the seventies, from the City History Room's archives.

I want to eat it on toast.

Some day, little house, we will restore you to your former glory. Even if we have to trespass on your lot in the middle of the night to do so.

UNheart One

2009-07-11T19:22:00.000-07:00

This is the opposite of what I love.

A couple months ago, a mama bird built her nest in the rafters of our carport.

A psychotic killer mama bird.

She has systematically pushed two batches of her poor chirping babies out of the nest, to fall ten feet onto cold, hard concrete where they die instantly.

As I type, five baby chick corpses lay strewn across our parking spot. All happy baby sounds from the nest have ceased.

I was horrified and thought you should be, too.

Heart Two

2009-07-10T10:16:00.000-07:00

I love the arts.

Heart One

2009-07-09T16:12:00.000-07:00

I love love.

2009-06-24T14:33:00.000-07:00

This morning I got to take 6-yr-old James and 4-yr-old Thomas (not the tank engines) to lunch and a movie. I knew our time would be priceless from the moment I strapped them into the car.

Thomas: We made up new numbers.

James: Mine was [fart noise]. [hysterical giggling]

T: My number was shoes and house. But pajamas is way higher than house.

J: You count them like, house one, house two, house three...

T: All the way up to house hundred!

And later during our drive, when I was lost because Google Maps told me to turn the wrong way,

T: I know the right way to go. But I can't tell you.

Me: Oh?

T: Yes, I know the right way to go, but it's a secret.

Me: Really?

T: Seriously.

Me: I have a secret about your secret.

[long pause]

T: I know.

They were completely hilarious from start to end, and I've decided I will always take little kids on dates and report our adventures back to you.

The Babysat

2009-06-11T13:45:00.000-07:00

On the way to the park.

Bird sighted.

Bird approach attempted.

Foiled.

On the way home.

Coloring.

Meticulously coloring.

What two-year-old prodigy does this?!

The same one who gives this face instead of saying "please" for a cookie.

Anniversary Two

2009-06-03T11:25:00.000-07:00

In this town:

Being this person:

With this man:

Doing this thing:

To this place:

This picnicky place:

With this view:

For love.

He Knows How to Do.

2009-03-21T19:18:00.000-07:00

The Poses

The Candids

The COMPLETELY AMAZING ACTIONS

Good job, husband.

72 = A Bit Much = I Spoke Too Soon

2009-03-20T22:03:00.000-07:00

***UPDATE***

So, right after I published the last post, I went to wrap up the beauties in saran. And then this happened.

I asked Eric if we could burn the apartment down, but he said, "No."

*sigh*

72 cupcakes would have been nice.

72 = A Bit Much

2009-03-20T21:02:00.000-07:00

This took all evening, but they turned out super cute. *^^* I want to eat all them.

Tomorrow's my I'm-old-enough-to-do-kid-stuff party. I'm so excited to see Larry and Steve skate!

30 = Nice.

2009-03-18T15:50:00.000-07:00

Brava!

2009-03-10T20:15:00.000-07:00

I saw this license plate cover on my way home today:

It made me smile.

Do you think it has magical properties? I imagine it makes the driver impervious to criticism. If that other guy passing us on the right at 90 mph tried to flip off the Ignoring Lady, I'd be able to laugh at the futility of his gesture.

I wonder, if I had rolled my windows down and turned the radio up really loudly when that great song was playing, would the Ignoring Lady have ignored my wave when I passed her by? Even if it was a really, really good song, like "500 Miles" by The Proclaimers? What if I tossed her flowers for being so proud of her ignoring?

What if I had the same license plate cover, and I cut her off so she could see it?

Things I Might Venture to See in a Week

2009-03-09T10:03:00.000-07:00

kiki & polly

Noun

Elizabeth Soule @ Stumptown Coffee

@ Seaplane

ink & peat

Elk Rock Gardens

Plants and Animals @ the Doug Fir Lounge

Yarnia

Betsy Walton @ the Grass Hut

Yellena James @ the Grass Hut

Other Artists @ the Grass Hut

Powell's

And that's where my research has taken me thus far. Hooray, Portland!

Magical

2009-02-06T09:13:00.001-08:00

This is my favorite video in the whole wide world. I keep gushing, then deleting, an explanation for it; you'll just have to see for yourself. Seriously. So much happy.

And a lot of happy behind the scenes:

If I could wrap this up and give it to everyone for christmas, I would.

Sleepy

2009-02-02T20:38:00.001-08:00

One thing worse than
having insomnia
is the person who sleeps zero inches away from you
the severe shaker of the bed with every toss-turn
the one who jabs you in the eye whenever he hears your gentle snores
having insomnia.

testing...

2009-01-23T14:27:00.001-08:00

...hello?

Auf Wiedersehen!

2008-12-10T08:24:00.000-08:00

Crystal, Megan, Kayleen, and Tara, your reputations are cleared.

And Wendi, you get an ! See how nice it feels? But fear the O.

Rethinking Christmas

2008-12-08T21:07:00.000-08:00

I've seen ads for several popular campaigns this season promoting charitable donations in lieu of traditional gift-giving. I'm not gonna lie - they made me feel kinda guilty. Here I was actually enjoying Black Friday shopping, while across the nation rabid consumerism led shoppers to act like animals and everybody in America forgot how to be decent people for Christmas.

I've racked my brain trying to think of one single creative way I set apart Christmas as a sacred occasion. E and I don't even go to a Christmas Eve service at church because we're juggling time between our families. Rather, the annual gift exchanges form the main events of our holidays. Am I a shallow materialist when it comes to this season?

I'm still working this out, but I've decided a tentative "no".

There were a few issues I had to grapple with before arriving at this conclusion. First, consumerism in America has gotten out of control. Second, there are many who are desperate for our help, financially and otherwise - donating to charities is an effective way of meeting needs. Finally, for Christians this season is significant because we celebrate Jesus entering the earth in human form; His profound vulnerability as an infant reminds us of how much He gave us in His life, death, and victory over death. Doesn't seem to leave a lot of wriggle room for holiday shopping lists.

Here's why I'm okay sticking with tradition:

1. Buying, like most other activities, is good in moderation. The amount of greed and waste in Western civilization is an appalling consequence of a good thing perverted by misuse. When done intentionally, weighed against a person's values and ideals, the items bought can become tools or temporary treasures. I try to treat buying as an art, or a game: get what is needed with the most thought and least expenditure possible. Gift giving is no exception. If I give you a present, I've probably slaved over it for hours to get it just right for you, including as many meaningful personal touches as I can. Whether or not you see it, love is dripping off every ninja in that bar of ninja soap.

2. Christmas is a great opportunity to donate to charity, but it's not the only or best time. Why should we treat non-profit organizations like shopping malls, letting their accounting books get in the black only around this season? Like many people, E and I plan our whole year around charitable giving; while we do give extra for special Christmas projects through church, the bulk of our donations take place throughout the year, including times when many organizations feel the pinch the most. I'm okay spending a fraction the cost of one month's donations on gifts for family and friends.

3. I learned in Sunday School as a youngster that the reason we give gifts to each other at Christmas is because God gave life to us through His Son. I was trained to think of those presents under the tree as one of many clear expressions of our gratitude to Him. I still can't reconcile that image with the mob trampling a Walmart employee in Long Island - that's what people do when they abuse or don't know love. It's not the presents that got people there; it's the empty, unchecked hunger for something to replace love. At its best, sharing our hearts through gifts to each other can be a sacred activity, I believe - just as sacred as breaking bread together.

I hope these aren't lame excuses for sticking to my materialistic ways. But if they are, I hope all of you will help set me straight. I don't resent the anti-shopping campaigns - I think they're really cool and I hope they continue causing people to rethink their Christmas traditions. They caused me to rethink mine, and for now, to appreciate them all the more.

HORSE prompt: Share your favorite cold-weather recipe, and the best clothes/location/activity in which to enjoy eating or drinking it.

Delicious!

2008-12-05T11:08:00.000-08:00

I've always been best friends with lots of books. As far back as I can remember, I fixated on the likes of the Babysitter's Club, the Little House series, and everything written by Maud Hart Lovelace, Author with the Most Inane Books but Awesomest Name. I never read a book I liked less than eight times. Choosing just one to highlight as favorite was pretty much impossible.

That's why I asked my mom. (Love that she's discovered text messaging.)

To: Mom
Fri, Dec 5, 9:05 am
--------------------
What book first comes to your mind as my childhood favorite?

From: Mom
Fri, Dec 5, 9:49 am
--------------------
A little golden book about raggedy ann and andy

To: Mom
Fri, Dec 9:51 am
--------------------
Ah, awesome! I was hoping you wouldn.t say something boring like anne of green gables

From: Mom
Fri, Dec 5, 10:28 am
--------------------
I was thinking of you as really little. Of course later on it would definitely be ann of green ghouls.

Priceless.

The book in question is "Raggedy Ann and the Cookie Snatcher".

Seeing those rows of hearts and triangles again warms the cockles of my heart. As far as I can remember, this book has got it all: mystery, cookies, and a giant dog who eats cookies.

Must. Start. Collecting. Golden Books. Now.

P.S. It's ANNE with an Eeee, Mom! ANNE with an EEEEeeee!

HORSE prompt: Cringe! Expose something about your pre-teen/teenage years that makes you embarrassed for your past self. If you share old journal entries or love letters from this period, you get bonus horse points. I'll figure out what that means later.

Once Read

2008-12-03T23:59:00.000-08:00

When asked to divulge my favorite blogs and the reasons they're favs, my initial desire was to dump all my treasures on y'all at once. Then I regained consciousness and accepted the fact that this presentation can only be broken down into a series. Therefore, I will temporarily replace my Flickrsday goodies with weekly introductions: you, meet my babies; babies, meet my friends.

First baby up for adoption:

Once Wed.

Traits:

- The kind of happy that can only come through vicarious wedding experience.

- Inspiration for creating small, elegant touches of pretty.

- Blue eyes:

Enjoy!

Stay tuned for my next HORSE prompt...

Let's Celebrate!

2008-12-03T00:08:00.000-08:00

Hey HORS, it's your birthday!!

T, K, M, C... you know who you are.

In other news, I have also submitted to the aitch. Keep walking folks, there's nothing to see here.

Confession

2008-12-02T21:34:00.000-08:00

Christmas Tree Streaking by Booknero on Flickr

I'm allergic to Christmas trees.

HORSE prompt: What bugs you right now, and what are you doing about it?

The Best Little House...

2008-12-01T09:10:00.000-08:00

Tara

Megan

Crystal

Kayleen

We'll pray for your souls.

We Blowed it Up Together

2008-11-29T06:30:00.000-08:00

Our children will be like this in every way. I hope.

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T07:04:00.000-08:00

"Turkey Bot" by IttyBittiesForYou on Etsy

Don't these cozy kitchens make you want to bake a pumpkin pie?

1. chaos in the kitchen!, 2. Kitchen corner, 3. vintage pastel kitchen.jpg, 4. Cluttered kitchen corner, 5. the kitchen (366), 6. her kitchen window sill, 7. Happy*Kitchen, 8. Colorful Kitchen

Christmas Wish List Toppers

2008-11-25T20:53:00.000-08:00

1. All the contributing artists from this thing of beauty to make me paintings once a week for the rest of my life.

2. One of these. And a real killer whale that swims up to me to be pet when I kayak in the ocean.

3. The complete eradication of cancer in all its forms. In Jesus' name!

HORSE Prompt: Where are you? Find an online picture that captures your place in life right now, and post it. No words necessary.

Reply Requested

2008-11-24T12:34:00.000-08:00

When I was little, I wanted to be a marine biologist. I thought this career would involve swimming with dolphins, training whales to propel me from their noses into the air, and being an all-around oceanic rock star.

Even before discovering my error, I failed to take the proper steps to realize my dream. Instead, I spent all my childhood perfecting pogo-ball skills and becoming a friendship bracelet genius.

For this, I must apologize.

Will you forgive me, Childhood Dreams? Don't forsake me when I need you most.

Stay tuned for the HORSE prompt to come at the end of the next post...

Turkey-riffic

2008-11-23T18:19:00.000-08:00

Fall is the best season, and Thanksgiving is the crowning jewel of the best season.

When I was younger, the family that came together for Thanksgiving was the same family I hung out with all the time. This is why when it came time to gather around the table and say what each of us was thankful for, I always said, "Family," but thought, mashed potatoes.

Two main elements contributed to my love for the holiday:

1. Good food in preposterous portions; and

2. The Macy's Thanksgiving Day parade.

A lot has changed in the last twenty years. I moved away from home, gained a new appreciation for my family since I wasn't seeing them all the time, married a man who gave me more family, decided it wasn't fun anymore to stuff myself until turkey fat oozed out my pores, and lost interest in the parade when nobody else wanted to get up at the crack of 9 a.m. with me to watch it.

So now I have two new reasons to love Thanksgiving:

1. Good family in preposterous portions; and

2. Christmas shopping with Mom.

Black Friday shopping means the insanity of waking up at 3 am and beating a mob of quilters to the doorbusters at Joann Fabrics. But it also means combining three of my favorite things in the whole wide world: scheming about presents, spending time with my mother, and nursing a tryptophan hangover.

Because ultimately, secretly, and much to the disgust of genuine turkey-lovers, my favorite part about Thanksgiving is the part where it makes way for Christmas.

HORSE prompt: What's something you no longer do that you wish you still did?

All You Need Is... Christ's Mind

2008-11-22T22:26:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, Paul wrote a letter to believers who had so stripped the power from Christ's message that Paul in disappointment called them "spiritual babies". These were believers in Corinth, and they should have grown up by then. Where had they gone wrong?

For one thing, they were getting puffed up, thinking that their own brand of wisdom made them more spiritual than others. They believed this gave them rights, or authority, to act as they would without consequences.

Sexual immorality? For them it was a badge of honor. Participation in idolatry was a sign of strength. They had become self-seeking in their quest for spirituality.

There's an odd twist to this story, however. These same Corinthians were, by outward appearances, really spiritually active. Paul himself praised them for having every spiritual gift! Apparently, they were familiar with words of wisdom, words of knowledge, faith, healing, miraculous powers, prophecy, distinguishing between spirits, speaking in different kinds of tongues, and the interpretation of tongues. From the sounds of this, the Spirit's work should have been thriving in the Corinthian congregation. What was missing from this picture?

My guess is, Christ was missing.

In the same portion of the letter in which Paul praised the Corinthians for their spiritual gifts, he repeatedly referred to Jesus - nine times within nine of our modern verses, in fact. Excessive, much? But the excess served its purpose, because Paul's earliest readers would have recognized the repetition as a form of emphasis used often in those days.

Christ called the Apostle who founded this church; Christ was the means of their sanctification and calling; Christ is the Lord of all believers everywhere; Christ gives grace and peace with God; God enriched them to confirm the testimony about Christ; the Corinthians gifts were given as they waited for Christ to be revealed; their security was for the sake of their blamelessness in Christ's day; and God called them into fellowship with Christ.

Why do you think Paul was so emphatic about this whole Jesus thing?

I think the Corinthians had kept the bath water and thrown out the baby. Now that they had achieved their level of spirituality (after all, look at what they were spiritually empowered to do!), Jesus had become irrelevant to them, as had the purpose for which He had called them.

They had lost sight of love: relinquishing rights for the benefit of brothers and sisters; sacrificing temporary freedom for the sake of releasing sin's captives forever; allowing God's power to take precedence. That is Christ's love.

And that is what I think Paul meant when he said that we have the mind of Christ.

Stay tuned for the HORSE prompt to come at the end of the next post...

Judgment Claus

2008-11-22T18:51:00.000-08:00

Is it getting hot in here, or is it just Santa HOs?

Megan

Tara

Kayleen

Crystal

Abby - you still have your dignity!

Kristiana - nothing (but an "O") can take your self-respect!

Hero Fail

2008-11-22T06:30:00.000-08:00

From the often hilarious Failblog.org. My personal favorite is this one.

Reprieve

2008-11-20T07:02:00.000-08:00

Colorless drama, please.

1. Waiting Game, 2. In the Rain, 3. Untitled, 4. la porta, 5. Immagine , 6. l'Homme Au Parapluie - The Umbrella Man, 7. Cycling through the rain, 8. Tabacos Exp. Nº 1, 9. envy, 10. spring rain., 11. rainy day #15, 12. Te conozco bacalao ...

Happy Aitch Day!

2008-11-18T18:38:00.000-08:00

Tara

Kayleen

Crystal

Megan

You just got aitched!

Berrer, Berrer, BERRER, AHHHHH!

2008-11-15T10:00:00.000-08:00

UPDATE: Get You Blogging

2008-11-14T12:07:00.000-08:00

I'm fine-tuning logistics of this horse game. See here for the original post.

I won't assign you more than one letter for ignoring a prompt. If you don't respond to two of my prompts, I'll assign you an "H-O". That's right, I'll call you a "ho". But it gets worse - if you don't respond to three of my prompts, you'll be a "H-O-R". Your only hope then is to continue ignoring my prompts until you're kicked out of the game as a perfectly respectable horse who's no fun.

Here's what's currently on the table:

HORSE prompt #1: What made you smile in October?

HORSE prompt #2: If life were a multiple choice test, what would be the first five questions on yours? Write the questions and their multiple choice answers.

The H/G Hug

2008-11-14T08:13:00.000-08:00

A chat with Jenni is like a turkey dinner - warm, nourishing, and most likely accompanied by thanksgiving. (They're also alike because you wouldn't want your inebriated uncle showing up for either of them.) In college, Jenni and I shared a learning curve that brought us away from dating-induced self pity and toward acceptance of how God was refining us through our struggles. We used the phrase "hard but good" to describe our challenges so often that it became like a rallying cry in our battle for character.

Looking back on the last month and its new experiences, I realize how the lesson lingers.

It was hard but good to tell my grandma "goodbye" after her 90th birthday, and for the first time to really mean, "goodbye forever, maybe."

It was hard but good to be honest with my professor for the first time, holding him accountable to his responsibilities as a teacher.

It was hard but good to leave my prodigal brother a message that for the first time betrayed vulnerability in response to his rejection.

It was hard but good to fret for the first time about my husband's success while he studied for his exam, and as never before to release that worry in the face of helplessness.

I know that the grand scheme of God's work didn't begin and won't end within the confines of my life. But there is something exceptionally genius about the way He sifts through the mess I offer and arranges the pieces to help make sense of it all: creation, the church, and even little Bethany.

Thanks for helping me remember and be thankful, Jenni.

HORSE prompt: If life were a multiple choice test, what would be the first five questions on yours? Write the questions and their multiple choice answers.

Civil Engineer's Hell

2008-11-13T03:26:00.000-08:00

My favorite structural elements, in my favorite states of disrepair:

1. door to nowhere, 2. Bookshop stairs in HDR, 3. Stairs in Muros, 4. Just an old green door, 5. sit down, 6. old stairs, 7. Stairs and Stripes, 8. Wooden door, 9. red door detail.jpg, 10. steps, 11. Coloured stairs, 12. The Great Mosque of Xi'an

The engineer husband informs me these images don't actually spell out hell for him but rather, to use his words, cha-CHING.

Me: "But what if you owned that set of rickety stairs?"

Him: "I wouldn't."

Hoppípolla sigh

2008-11-12T07:16:00.000-08:00

Some brilliant person took the heavenly sound of Icelandic band Sigur Rós and paired it with images of grandparents jumping in mud puddles - too much happy for me not to share.

Bet you can't watch it more times than I have.

Get You Blogging

2008-11-11T10:02:00.000-08:00

Too many of my friends have blogs lying dormant right now. My blog has never, ever lain dormant right now.

Therefore, I'm challenging my readers who I know have blogs to a game of horse. Here are the rules:

1. I post a challenge writing prompt (in a minute).

2. You publish a post to your blog, using my writing prompt as inspiration. You can interpret the prompt any way you want. Be prepared to explain the connection between your post and my prompt.

3. At the end of your post, include a writing prompt challenge for me - and for the others playing this game. Format it this way: "HORSE prompt: your prompt here."

4. Once you've published your post, come back to this post and leave a comment with a link to your blog.

5. If you don't respond to my prompt within a week of this post, I will assign you an "H". If two weeks go by without response, I'll assign an "O". Three weeks, "R", and etc.

6. I must then respond to your prompt within a week, and in my response I will post a new prompt for you. If I haven't responded to your prompt within a week of your post, you may assign me an "H", and etc.

7. If you read a HORSE prompt from any other blogger, consider yourself challenged and respond to their challenge within a week of their post.

8. If you don't have a blog and want to play, now is a good time to open a blogger account!

Let me know if you have questions.

Ready?

HORSE prompt: What made you smile in October?

See latest update to rules.

Charlie Bit Me

2008-11-08T15:26:00.000-08:00

An oldie, but a goody.

Autumn Elsewhere

2008-11-06T09:33:00.000-08:00

Let's be wistful and a bit obsessive about bikes together, shall we?

1. red drops, 2. llibreria - bookstore - Amsterdam - HDR, 3. Autumn Cycle, 4. 2º acto - descubriendo el otoño, 5. well good morning to ewe too., 6. japanese autumn, 7. Bike with Bags, 8. Rumbling Bridge 1, 9. IMG_7677, 10. poor Bike ! ...... (SkyShaper style)

Deb Tors

2008-11-01T15:18:00.000-07:00

Careful

2008-10-30T08:00:00.000-07:00

Reflecting on Matthew 6.

1. For The Birds, 2. at the couturier's, 3. Prairie Child, 4. Fresh Dinner, 5. Flock of Amigurumi Birds, 6. proud farmer, 7. Undry The Sky, 8. Untitled, 9. Bird Of Rust, 10. Freestyle, 11. Nostalgia (2), 12. on a rusty dumpster

One Tree Hill, Politics, and Kittens

2008-10-28T22:00:00.000-07:00

We had a potluck and pumpkin carving party with friends tonight, and the main couse was fish. For a side dish, I tried out a new recipe for rice that was super easy and turned out pretty nicely. Because I like to share anything good I find with my friends, I now present you with the recipe for:

Mushroom rice by puzzlemepuzzle

Mushroom Rice

Serves: 8
Time to prepare: 5 minutes
Time to cook: 25 minutes

- 2 T butter
- 12 mushrooms, coarsely chopped
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 bunch green onions, finely chopped
- 4 c chicken broth
- 2 c uncooked white rice
- 1 t snipped parsley
- salt and pepper to taste

Melt butter in saucepan.
Saute mushrooms, garlic, and green onion until mushrooms are cooked.
Stir in chicken broth and rice.
Season with parsley, salt, and pepper.
Reduce heat; cover and simmer until rice is fully cooked and broth is absorbed.

The yummy is done.

Free Disney!

2008-10-27T06:30:00.000-07:00

You already know Disneyland is the happiest place on earth.*

But did you also know there's a Disney membership club where you can sign up to get special discounts and offers?

And did you know, once you're in the club, you'll have access to this page which lets you register for the best freebie ever?

According to Disney's site, you get *ahem* :

A free 1-Day/1-Park ticket on your birthday if you're not a passholder!

-OR-

If you're a passholder already, a "birthday fun card in an amount equal to the price of a 1-Day/1-Park ticket for you to use on your birthday for merchandise, recreation or fun activities at select participating locations at Disneyland® Resort"!!

There are lots of restrictions (you can only use it on the day of your birthday in 2009, you can't spend the fun card on food, etc.) but I didn't see anything that meant you couldn't buy a sweatshirt or twenty tacky magnets, so I'm happy as an animatronic clam!

Disneyland + birthdays + free stuff = cosmic twelve hour fun explosion just for you. You're welcome.

*Until Jesus returns.

Spanish

2008-10-25T15:08:00.000-07:00

Rebar City

2008-10-24T09:59:00.000-07:00

E left this morning at 5:30 with a stack of, no joke, 15 textbooks including this beauty:

Each book contains at least 20 pounds of engineering formulas.

That's right. It's Engineering Principles and Practice exam weekend. Two full eight hour days of multiple choice questions.

I continue to thank God every day for that one time when I decided not to pursue engineering.

I'm so nervous for him! He's been studying non-stop for days and frantically tabbing his references in preparation.

If he passes, he gets to officially stamp things with his professional engineer stamp. If he doesn't pass, he gets to retake the test and think of zingers with which to respond to his mocking colleagues.

Either way, I'm baking him a peach pie.

Inspirio

2008-10-23T09:33:00.000-07:00

These interiors make me want to create something.

1. Elle decor_08.08 _Hugo Carletto interior design, 2. Trolley interior decor, 3. restaurant interiors 07, 4. 180-degree fish-eye lenses, Running Water - Unisex washroom decor - The Commoner, 5. Bunkbeds, 6. Wall Mural, 7. sha-to, 8. Globes, 9. kitchen herb planter , 10. Wood Slices, 11. Display Idea, 12. Crates & chairs

Too Cheap

2008-10-22T15:10:00.000-07:00

In order to save up for a house, E and I are experimenting with frugality of all kinds.

My new favorite game is figuring out how to stretch the dumplings out of each dollar. Ask any of the friends who have to deal with me on a regular basis - once their eyes are done rolling they'll tell you I never pass up an opportunity to talk about my money-maxing schemes.

The latest scheme under construction involves the CVS Extra Care Bucks system. According to seasoned pros, using the right combinations of CVS deals with manufacturer's coupons should get me stuff I need for free, all the time. They even work out scenarios for me when I hardly have enough time to figure out all their fancy systems and code words, let alone create my own from scratch. It's nice.

So today, my day of grocery shopping, I decided to give this CVS thing a shot. I researched, double checked the figures, and then gathered my coupons. What a rush! I'm the smartest shopper ever! Before heading out to squeeze the gravy out of my pennies, I showed E my prize deal:

"Look! CVS is advertising $8 in EC bucks for this box of Just for Men hair color! I can also blah blah coupon blah! That means blah $6 blah blah $8 blah! And on top of all that, blah blah blah mail in rebate blah blah! We'll earn $14 by buying this!!" My eyes shone, glistening with dewy awe. "CVS is paying us to shop with them!"

E looked at the ad and coupon and rebate I held out to him. He gazed intently into my eyes. He cleared his throat. "Baby," he started.

"Yes love?" I gushed.

"What the heck are we going to do with a box of men's hair color?"

"."

I looked at the other deals I held in my hands: super amazing sweet deals of all kinds. For items like Children's Tylenol. And stuff that dyes your teeth blue to prove you don't brush enough. And Pert Plus shampoo. They cost 15 cents each, but we will never use them. Therefore, not deals.

I refuse to give up on the CVS game yet, because it still looks like so much fun.

So... help me out here. You got any brilliant ideas of what I could do with my box of cheap hair dye?

Things that have the Opposite of Their Intended Effect on Me

2008-10-07T05:45:00.000-07:00

News media's opinion

Conservative appeals to the "masses"

Liberal snickers

Credit card offers

Ads stuck in windshield wipers

Hints from the pulpit about The War Against Homosexuals

Frosting roses

Oprah's book club

Look what started haunting me:

2008-08-19T18:20:00.000-07:00

That's right.

In my alley. By the dumpsters. This week. The Couch.

The Couch that lived in my dorm room for 2 years. The Couch I haven't seen since I gave it to two guys when I graduated 3 years ago.

The Couch Megan used to put her head on. Riiiight here.

Did you have a tough 3 years, The Couch??

Crying Fool

2008-07-21T10:27:00.000-07:00

God stirs up my guts,
knocking His big spoon against
the compassion-humility lump
that sits somewhere in the middle of me.
He breaks it into countless tears
working their way
through my doughy body.
Every tear touches the lifeless mixture
so I rise.

Such is the story of my life this far.

But through the surface of my full, rich life,
a thousand tears break.
I can't hold them in
because I've asked to be useful.
I don't know what will happen
once they've left me.
I do know that every groan
originates from and ascends to
a master of creative release who
empowers my ability to sustain and nurture
so that it actually
does
something
useful.
My deep quakes with the greatness of hope once again.

This is the story of His life through me.

queen moves to the g-file and 5th rank

2008-07-04T11:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, no more chess analogies, because I'm having to research the game on wikipedia just to sound informed about a subject in which I have zero interest.

E and I invited M and T to mini golf last night. It was good times. M is still on the fence about whether he's going to come see the family.

If you're reading this post before July 5th, please pray M comes and some significant healing starts.

If you're reading this post after July 4th, please pray whatever did or didn't happen on that day would contribute to God's hopes for victory in these broken lives.

If you're writing this post on July 4th, please don't do anything to screw up.

Update (7/8/08): M was a no-show on the 4th.

What is going ON?

2008-07-01T10:49:00.000-07:00

My dad invited my brothers to spend July 4th with the family?!

The stalemate is broken!

Now the patient wait to see if brother M can build up courage to take the next move.

Updates as available...

Happy

2008-06-14T10:37:00.001-07:00

Soon and Very Soon

2008-04-14T20:52:00.000-07:00

The end is in sight, and not a tear will fall from my ducts when I say, "Auf wiedersehen, semester!"

So many non-academic words are poised at the tips of my fingers, ready to attack the keyboard in creative blogging frenzy.

So much art threatens to spill over the margins of my Synoptics notes onto real canvasses and small trading cards.

So many affectionate thoughts and hugs and cups of tea wait patiently to be realized in the company of neglected friends.

So many papers and exams and book reviews jeeringly block my path to freedom, but their days are numbered and their number is TEN.

Post Secret Valentine

2008-02-15T15:12:00.001-08:00

Dress Code

2008-02-08T16:53:00.000-08:00

Sitting on the public bus to school yesterday, I noticed a kind-looking older lady sitting a few seats up from me. I noticed her initially because I was curious what book she was reading, but as my eyes trailed aimlessly toward the floor, I suddenly became aware that her Socks were shouting at me.

"We're Crossword Puzzle Socks!" they blared.

I leaned in for a closer view. It was true. They were Crossword Puzzle Socks, red pencil filling in the squares and all.

"But what are those words in the squares?" I whispered timidly, because I couldn't quite make out the letters. The Socks didn't respond.

I craned my neck. It was worth the effort, because now I could hear the Socks whispering.

"We're a bit racy," they were admitting bashfully.

I saw what they meant as I slowly spelled out the words on them.

...S-

...E-

...X-

...Y. Sexy.

and P-

...O-

...K-

...E-

...R. Sexy and poker.

"You are very racy indeed," I chided the Crossword Puzzle Socks. "You should--" but at that moment, I was interrupted by a startling exclamation as the man directly in front of me stood up to disembark.

"We're Kitchen Utensil Pants!" his pants screamed.

I fell back in my seat and grinned, speechless.

Attention:

2008-02-04T17:32:00.000-08:00

I've got a hole in my brain the size of a Hebrew exam, and all my studying is leaking out the back.

Hide and Seek

2008-01-17T19:01:00.000-08:00

"What is at the top of your list? Pick three random emotions (jealousy, wistfulness, etc.) and write a list of five experiences that cause you to feel each emotion. After all lists are complete, write a summary stating what each emotion means to you, based on your observations of the list for that emotion."

Humility
1. Losing at anything.
2. Leading to fill a volunteer gap when I know someone more highly-skilled could lead better, if only they were willing.
3. Debating with my husband about almost anything. (See #1.)
4. Teaching. (See #2.)
5. Losing at Scrabulous.

Humility is what I feel when comparison of myself to others is unflattering to me.

Bitterness
1. Watching politically partisan escapades.
2. Knowing gas in the U.S. will most likely never again cost less than $3 a gallon.
3. Recognizing impenetrable social cliques as they painfully exclude non-members.
4. Reading a history of atrocities committed in the name of Jesus Christ.
5. Losing someone to death knowing they never knew Life.

Bitterness is my response when any response seems powerless to change the situation.

Contentment
1. Walking home knowing who's waiting for me there.
2. Hearing my littlest brother's voice on the phone.
3. Watching an inspiring documentary film.
4. Seeing another believer baptized.
5. Purposeful times of prayer and worship with God's family.

Contentment grows out of interactions with others who snap me out of my self-absorption and remind me of an intention far superior to mine for a world far greater than mine.

Tag! If you read this, you're IT!

Irritating Conscience

2008-01-12T15:26:00.000-08:00

"I know this sounds weird, but I've decided not to speed anymore."

"Oh. Why?"

"I was driving on the freeway today behind a super-slow car, and as I passed it on the right, I made a point to glare at the driver - to discover a cute old couple that I would be perfectly loving to in any other situation. Then I was annoyed with myself for always being so crabby when I commute. Suddenly it hit me: Jesus would drive the speed limit!"

"You don't think Jesus would go with the flow of traffic?"

"Well... yes, but I'm not saying I'll be oblivious or go 65 in the fast lane - I can stay to the right and let people pass and all that. I just won't keep rushing past everyone else. I mean, it's not like I've achieved a level of skill that exempts me from safety laws or anything."

"True."

"So, it may take me longer to get places, but I'm going to stop viewing other cars and their drivers as obstacles and I'm going to start navigating traffic collaboratively."

"Sounds good. Just, when we're going places together, let me drive."

Everything New

2008-01-05T10:01:00.001-08:00

How Sweet It Is

2007-12-21T14:00:00.000-08:00

Deliciously Underpaid

2007-12-20T09:14:00.000-08:00

Why does it seem that for most people, the best, most loved work they do is the work they do for free?

I'm sitting here in the church office on my volunteer Thursday, being a secretary and doing odd jobs not really more meaningful than any of my work at the library. Apparently, the tasks I engage in at both are similar; required motor skills and brain activity are comparable.

But somehow, I woke up today glad to spend a morning not making money.

The papers and tests I prepared for this last semester built up in me some extreme stress and duress. I commuted 3 hrs a day for classes, returning home exhausted and insecure at the end of most days. Sleep was lost, communication with the outside world put on temporary hiatus, and friendships and fun sacrificed at the altar of responsibility.

And yet, not even into the second week since the end of the Fall semester, I look forward eagerly to the pay-free challenges of school in Spring.

I've always loved dabbling in crafts and art. But even when I was young, no matter how passionately or for how many years I pursued a particular art form - and at the age of ten, stamped stationery was high art - as soon as I had to make a bundle to raise funds for volleyball camp, my devotion to lanyard-work or greeting-card-embossing or paperdoll-crafting soured directly into drudgery.

Since the beginning, I have been emotionally opposed to making a buck.

So here I sit in the church office, taking a few minutes of my own time to compose a thought for the benefit of the five friends who care to read it, and I think I might hit on an answer soon. Because I realize if I were writing this post while sitting at the library with money on the ticking clock, I'd be stealing from an employer. Not just taking money - I'd be stealing the whole clock off the wall.

Which leads me to wonder: How does it work that the company willing to put its money on my clock gets to put my clock on its wall?

One Ace short of a Straight

2007-11-09T16:42:00.000-08:00

Last month I participated in healing a relationship I thought could never be restored.

Last week I pledged to increase my financial support of our church's neighborhood engagement, so addicted single moms could reclaim lost dignity.

Last night I invited a lonely girl over to hang out with us, so we could share lives for a couple hours.

This morning I prayed fiercely for a baby who wasn't mine and his parents whom I hardly know.

This afternoon I cursed at 7 people on the freeway, because they sucked at driving.

2007-11-07T13:02:00.000-08:00

With broken cars
and dirty jars
and cunning czars
outstripping,

I stumble through
and fumble, too
I mumble, "booooo!"
I'm tripping.

Remember May
its frenzied fray
my hands of clay
diminished?

Well, this is June
-refreshing boon-
the honeymoon
ain't finished.

Deux from Dooce

2007-09-27T11:09:00.000-07:00

Two of my favorite links from one of my favorite A-list bloggers:

Book Autopsies
Explanation of Book Dissections (artist statement quoted from the Toomy Tourell Gallery) -
"In this work I begin with an existing book and seal its edges, creating an enclosed vessel full of unearthed potential. I cut into the cover of the book and dissect through it from the front. I work with knives, tweezers and other surgical tools to carve one page at a time, exposing each page while cutting around ideas and images of interest. Nothing inside the books is relocated or implanted, only removed. Images and ideas are revealed to expose a book’s hidden, fragmented memory. The completed pieces expose new relationships of a book’s internal elements exactly where they have been since their original conception."

Faces in Places
"A photographic collection of faces found in everyday places."

Dilemma

2007-09-18T20:54:00.000-07:00

[Scene opens in kitchen of small apartment in New Jersey. Warm sunlight pours through open window. Woman in late twenties stands at the sink washing dishes, humming softly. Man's voice calls from other room.]

Reid: "Honey, did you already pay the electric bill?"

Joy: "Yeah, the stub is on the refriger--"

[Camera zooms in to Joy's back. Footage converts seamlessly to CGI as camera moves through abdominal cavity, past healthy organs, pauses on normally-beating heart. Suddenly, heart begins racing as sound of heart valves slamming open and shut grows increasingly louder. Camera moves again to follow rapid flow of blood to brain, where abnormal level of electrical activity appears like violent fireworks. With continuing sound of blood pounding through vessels, camera zooms out again to kitchen scene. Joy grabs the edge of the sink, white-knuckled. Driving heartbeat sound pauses... one beat, then pause... one beat more... Fade to black as woman falls backward.]

--Opening credits--

Awk. Ward.

2007-09-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

At a wedding:

"You know, Bethany, there was a time when we were hoping you'd be our daughter-in-law."

"Oh..."

Willing my jaw not to drop and mentally scrambling for a way to make the ground swallow me whole, I pasted a grin on my face.

"...Well, at least you got me as your niece-in-law!"

Game Night at My House

2007-08-22T22:19:00.000-07:00

Facebook hasn't stolen anything. In fact, Facebook is receiving just as much neglect. Marriage, or housecleaning, or preparing for school, or running errands, or buying furniture - these have stolen my energy. Life is currently both too mundane to write about and too frenetic to allow time for writing.
There is a day coming soon when I'll wake up inspired, and my fingers won't be soaked in dish suds or thank you notes. It's approaching quickly; I feel it.

boo back

Word of the Day

2007-08-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

I participated in the following conversation today:

"Good morning."

"Good morning! How are you?"

"Good. How are you?"

"Good. Is married life going good?"

"Yeah, it's good."

"Good; that's good. Well, good-bye!"

"Bye."

Walking Trees and the Second Touch

2007-07-27T10:03:00.000-07:00

Riding in an airplane ranks among the most poignant spiritual alarm clocks in my experience. From inside Plexiglas the traveler penetrates a misty veil, enters a Tropospheric Hall where ceiling has turned to floor, feels the world double in size as the earth shrinks below. Do you see God there like I do? Awe steals over me every time.

Glory,
to him who rides the ancient skies above,
who thunders with mighty voice.
He alone stretches out the heavens
and treads on the waves of the sea.
The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of his hands.
For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him.∞

Seeing it with my own eyes I'm confronted once again by my limitations. I want to know Him more, but my awareness of Him is chained to my awareness of immediate surroundings. Self-centeredness lays a boundary that contracts slowly toward the center.

If I go up to the heavens, you are there.∞

Sometimes, rarely, I remember without the plane.

∞Psalm 68:33, Job 9:8, Psalm 19:1, Psalm 103:11, and Psalm 139:8

...but I've still got it.

2007-07-26T16:40:00.001-07:00

As I walk from across campus to the library, I near some high school boys strolling along ahead of me. They glance around at the sound of my footsteps and wave. Not knowing what else to do in response to these strangers, I say, "Hello," and keep up my pace.

Shortly I find myself in that strangely dreadful position: Overtaking People I Don't Know. My choice is either to slow down or pass them from behind. I'm in a hurry and they aren't, so I choose the second option.

Am I hypersensitive or does the awkwardness intensify unbearably during that instant where my body meets and crosses the plane of the bodies of passed strangers?

Once ahead of them I force myself to shake off self-consciousness and keep walking naturally. The silence is palpable. Lost in my own thoughts, I nearly miss the tell-tale alert one boy softly whispers to the other:

"Married."

Immediately, all analysis of my own insecurity clears as sun breaks through wheedly clouds.

They've been checking old me out, yes. But even better, they've just paid reluctant homage to my favorite ball and chain.

Unphotogenic: An Exposé

2007-07-25T19:45:00.000-07:00

Ahh... catharsis. If you too have a blog, I challenge you to post uglier pictures of yourself than these, some of my most bonfire-worthy.

Pop Quiz, Hotshot

2007-07-23T21:15:00.000-07:00

Are we Jocks, Preps, or NERDS?

Pictures of Mad-Eye Eric on the way soon.