The Happy Story about Stress

Gretchen painted herself a sign that said:

You're probably stressed for no good reason.

She was tired of always freaking out even though things usually turned out okay. She hung the sign up in her living room as a reminder, but that was just the beginning.

Next, she made prints of the sign and translated them into posters, t-shirts, totes, rugs, and sweat bands. She marketed them to people who were just like her: moms who made their children wear bike helmets all the time; teachers who worried their lesson plans weren't very good; students who developed hernias over their homework assignments; artists who fretted over whether their art would sell. Pretty much everyone who was ever stressed out needed the reminder that things usually turn out okay. Soon, everyone in the world knew about Gretchen and her Stressed Out products.

Over the ensuing years, Gretchen herself became immune to the message she was mass producing. Every time someone ordered one of her products, she lost sleep over whether she'd get it shipped on time. When The Today Show invited her to be interviewed, she barfed for four days straight. When the President asked her over for dinner she began punching herself in the face as a nervous twitch.

But in spite of all her stress, things usually turned out okay for Gretchen. The shirts got mailed, the interview went fine, and the President cancelled dinner plans at the last minute because all the White House vegetables were contaminated. The stress actually didn't turn out okay, because Gretchen died of apoplexy.

This is a happy story because now you and I have learned from Gretchen's mistakes.